Purple Haired Grandchildren
by Nishiki-chan27
Summary: Drabbles concocted by the devious minds of Sorastro and I. Read if you dare. Flames will be used to roast the Twin Brother.
1. In Which Fleur Thinks on his Actions

A/N: Sorastro the Queen of the Night and I were talking at a sleepover after seeing **Alegría**about this stuff. Especially the PURPLE HAIRED GRANDCHILDREN! …which we will come to… later.

This first chapter is **Alegría**!

**_-*Fleur Thinks (the Scandal)*-****_**

One day, Fleur went for a walk in the forest. He got terribly lost and soon found himself in the Kingdom of **KĀ**.

There, he began to think (GASP!).

He thought about how terrible a monarch he was and felt so terrible about restraining everyone's wings and making them entertain him and how terrible his kingdom was because of this. All in all, there was a lot of terrible.

He wondered how to fix this.

So he asked the first person he saw. Which just so happened to be the Counselor's Son.

The Counselor's son was currently devising a new and more efficient way to create exploding bone powder. As such he was also building a new bone powder cannon to accommodate the new and more efficient bone powder. Fleur ignored this fact (as well as the fact that someone who is blind should not be messing with exploding things nor should he be able to create something a intricate as bone powder cannon) and walked right up and told him what was on his mind.

As you can tell, the Counselor's Son was not in the aggravated. Just annoyed.

"What are you doing?" Fleur asked.

"Stuff," the Counselor's Son replied.

"What kind of stuff?"

"Stuffy stuff."

"Okay."

Silence surrounded the two men. Except of course for the sound of partying coming from the general direction of the Twin Sister and the Twin Brother's current paparazzi. And of birds. And wind in the trees. And the Counselor's Son's working. But other than that.

"What should I do to fix my kingdom?" Fleur asked.

"Stuff," the Counselor's Son replied.

"What kind of stuff?"

"Stuffy stuff."

"What exactly would you call stuffy stuff?"

"Stuff."

"You're a genius!" And so Fleur, pleased with this endeavor, went back home.

He did stuff.

He got slapped by an angel.


	2. In Which Fleur Realizes his Name Sucks

A/N: I forgot a disclaimer, but it's pretty obvious I don't own Cirque du Soleil. If I did, the Twin brother would be long dead and the Counselor's son and the Chief Archer's Daughter would have purple haired children.

**_-*Fleur Was Thinking (Again)*-****_**

After being slapped by an angel, Fleur realized maybe his stuff wasn't stuffy stuff meaning it was the wrong kind of stuff. So he wandered back over to the kingdom of **KĀ.**

The Counselor's Son was still embedded in his work (it took some time to get free of the super-instant-death-adhesive glue he used) and didn't seem to mind the helping hand of Fleur. Which, of course, was not extended seeing as it was clad in the finest velvet gloves.

"I tried to do stuff. But it didn't work. What should I do?" Fleur asked the genius sitting beside him, stuck by the seat of his pants to his work.

"Stuff," he replied, attempting freedom but finding no luck.

"Genius! What kind of stuff?"

"Stuffy stuff."

"My god, man, you're incredible! Stuffy stuff could be put under the category of..?"

"Stuff."

"Why didn't I think of that? Thank you, Super-Glue Man!"

"…My name is the Counselor's Son."

"What an awful name."

"'Fleur' is so much better?"

"Why yes it is."

"Our current monarch is named the Twin Brother. Beat that."

"Well- I- I have a subject named the White Singer!"

"…Meaning you're the odd one out. Ha. I win."

"At what?"

"…Stuff."

Fleur was pleased with this answer and left.

At his arrival, another angel slapped him and the Black Singer hissed from her darkened corner before her counterpart happened to see her atrocious behavior and got out the water squirter.


	3. In Which Fleur Cries in a Corner

A/N: Last bit of Fleur stupidness.

**_-*Fleur Thinks (Final)*-_**

Fleur sat alone in a corner and cried. He had failed at doing stuff. He could only wish to be as amazing as the genius who called himself the Counselor's Son.

"Duh," an angel yelled, and smited him.


	4. The Chief Archer's Ditz

A/N: Thank you for all the reviews! I'm so sorry I couldn't reply to you! -sobs- This chapter is for Sorastro the Queen of the Night, who is currently sick, but we're hoping will get better. Good thoughts, Momo-tan!

And now, we find out why this fic is titled. By the way, this is solely KA.

**_-*The Chief Archer's Ditz*-_**

**Flashback**

The Counselor and Chief Archer were sitting on conveniently placed chairs in the middle of the forest (God knows where those came from) watching their currently toddler-stage children have a parent-set-up play date. For a long time, no words were passed, until the Chief Archer turned to his red-haired pal and said "I want purple haired grandchildren."

An awkward silence passed, until the Counselor said to his blue-haired friend and said "That would be awesome!"

They then went back to watching their children. A sudden realization struck both:

The Chief Archer's Daughter had red hair. The Counselor's son had blue hair. Red plus blue equals purple.

Grins spread across both men's faces. "Yes….."

**Past the end of KA**

The Chief Archer was having a complete and utter mental breakdown over his idiotic daughter. The archers were all nervously hanging out around the entrance to his current hideout, a lean-to with purple interior, apparently an old shrine to his dream for his daughter. As if on cue, the red-haired lady floated over, her head in the clouds and singing some dopey song to herself.

"Have any of you seen Father?" she asked. "I want to show him my husband-to-be." She held up a squirrel.

"How did you catch that?" One archer asked.

The Chief Archer's Daughter looked at the squirrel for a moment before a look of blank realization crossed her face. "This isn't the Twin Brother," she said before loosing the captured squirrel, who clambered up a tree and sat in a branch, chattering obscenities at her. She then turned on her toe and waltzed off to find her husband-to-be.

From inside the purple shrine came a scream. "NO YOU SHAN'T GO FIND YOUR 'HUSBAND TO BE'!" the Chief Archer leapt into action and tackled his daughter. "You were supposed to marry that guy!" He pointed to the conveniently located Counselor's Son, working with explosives. "And together, you were supposed to have purple-haired children!"

His daughter seemed in no way fazed by this experience and peeled her father off before going off again. The Chief Archer slunk off again. The archers dispersed.

For many hours the forest was quiet as a forest can be (which isn't very, mind you) until a group of archers returned, being led by the Twin Sister. She was stopped by the Chief Archer, who had intent to kill on his face until he realized her brother wasn't with her, who then sat down on a conveniently placed tree stump, defeated. Then he realized she shouldn't even be here and began questioning her.

"Why are you here?"

"Well, it's a long story-"

Another archer interrupted and began speaking in animated tones. "She was in the river, you know, where we were, but we weren't doing so well with the canoe. The she asked us why we didn't have a rudder to steer. And we thought, well, by golly, she must have a point, riding on a turtle and all. So we got this guy," he pointed to another archer, this one badly bitten and missing a foot from the waist down, "to be our rudder. Then the Twin Sister asked where we were going and we said back to the forest so she asked to tag along because she's going on another grand adventure."

"So… you let her come with you."

The archers all nodded enthusiastically. The Twin Sister shrugged.

"What about our guards?"

"She took them out single-handedly with a big leaf and a stick and a rock." The Twin sister lifted the aforementioned items. "Plus, she's just really cool. She wears red." The Chief Archer slapped his face.

"Father, there you are! I found my husband to be-"

"That's a puppy! Put the poor thing down."

"Oh." The Chief Archer's daughter let the bedraggled puppy down. She then spotted the Twin Sister. "Oh! Husband to be! There you are!"

"No, I'm your sister to be." The Twin Sister said. "I wear red, remember, dear? And he wears green. But I think he's back at the palace, so you can find him there. Now, I'm off to go on a grand adventure!" With that the Twin Sister began flying, flapping her arms in the absence of wings.

**At the Palace**

The Counselor had holed up in the Twin Sister's closet, for absolutely no reason. Or, at least, any reason you would like to know. Believe me. Another reason for someone going into the Twin Sister's closet you don't want to know would be the Twin Brother's reason...

Either way, the Counselor sat on the floor of the closet and moped over the loss of his ability to claim he had purple haired grandchildren. Out of nowhere, the Twin Brother opened the closet door. The Counselor's eyes lit up into a fire and he hissed like a startled cat.

"You! Go away!" He said in a Monty-Python's-Holy-Grail-appropriate-voice. Then he hissed again.

The Twin Brother, short several wits, closed the closet door before wondering _why_ some random old guy was sitting in his sister's closet. This seemed more than a little awkward so he opened the door again, only to begin the previous cycle anew. Door-open, door-close. Door-open, door-close. It got very repetitive to the point where when they attempted speech they just kept repeating the same thing over and over again too fast for the other to hear. Finally the Counselor decided to be the pseudo-mature one and grabbed the door before it could close again.

"Why are you here?" The Counselor asked.

"Same thing to you!" The Twin Brother replied.

And awkward silence enveloped them. Outside they heard a loud crash, then someone shouted "You'll never get me _aliiive!" _before another crash sounded and someone else screamed. In the distance, a siren could be heard.

But both were too busy worrying about why the _h_ the other was loitering in and/or about the Twin Sister's closet to notice the commotion.

"I was looking for something not too incredibly feminine of my sister's to try on because I personally think I'd look better in red in her," the Twin Brother blurted out.

"So you're exploring a thespian endeavor."

"No!" The Twin Brother shouted. "Okay, maybe kinda. But what about you?"

"… I don't know."

-this is the part of the show where the random elevator music would come up-

After a sudden scene change, the Counselor, the Counselor's Son, the Chief Archer, the chief Archer's Daughter, the Twin Brother, and the Twin Sister, were all gathered about in a copse of trees. They had apparently just had coffee and were now discussing their future as a family (minus the Counselor and the Counselor's Son) and how to avoid any bizarre conflicts brought about by a shrine to purple hair.

"I didn't realize this whole thing was over having children with purple hair," the Chief Archer's Daughter said. "Do I have a story for you."

Everyone looked at her, shocked. What now?

…Brown cow?


End file.
